Wellness Resources for New Caregivers
with Shelby Riley, LICSW

Please feel free to use and share these resources and adapt them to your life and your child's unique developmental age!

For Children:
Head Shoulders Knees and Toes song and/or book
  • Build on gross motor development 
    • Balance, coordination and muscle development
    • Using different parts of body to do the actions 
    • ​​Song develops your child's listening and language skills (learning parts of the body).
  • Add as tickle activity : Identifying different body parts and name/ touch of the body part

For Caregivers:
Learn how to do a Body Scan Meditation
  • Non-judgemental way of checking in with your body 
  • “Noticing” feeling tingling, tightness and other sensations in body 
  • A meditation that allows the brain to refocus and detach from emotions, judgment and stress
Benefits:
  • Decreases anxiety by building awareness of tension you're holding 
  • Decreases stress levels
  • Self-aware and being present 
  • Helps cope with and breath through pain
  • Become more relaxed 
  • Better sleep 
  • Learn to be less self-critical
  • Increases focus

For Caregiver and Child: 
Take a moment to slow down and body scan your little one from head to toe. Use a calm talking voice and slow, calm breathing during scanning. 

Click the links to check out free Guided Body Scan Meditations on YouTube and Spotify.

Breathing Techniques
with Shelby Riley, LICSW

For Children:
Bubbles for Kids!
Benefits of bubbles: 
  • Visual tracking and hand eye coordination
  • Fine and gross motor skills (small muscles in hands, pointing, and fingers and running around chasing)
  • Oral motor skills: Blowing bubbles develops the small muscles in your child's mouth as they pucker their lips and blow bubbles. Strengthening these muscles is important for developing their ability to form clear sounds when speaking and to eat and swallow safely.
  • Tactile Fun: wet, sticky, uses sense of touch
  • Calm and reorganize: calming & organizing the child’s body is the result of the use of the proprioceptive sense when blowing bubbles.
  • FUN! Child and Parents smile
  • Use it as a teaching tool for language (big, small) and following directions (pop with your finger, stomp with your food)​

For Caregivers:
Visual Breathing 
Practice focusing on your breath: Slowing down, when focusing on breath it allows us to step away from our thoughts, sensations and emotions to regroup. 

How to BREATHE
  • Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit, lie down or step away for a second (bathroom, closet, outside etc). 
    • Pay attention to your breath 
    • DEEP breath IN slowly through your nose, allowing your chest/belly to rise as you fill your lungs.
    • Breathe OUT slowly through your mouth (or your nose, if that feels more natural).
  • Using Imagery 
    • Sit comfortably with your eyes closed, find a drishti (focal point) or some visual to look at and follow/ “trace” with your breath 
    • Focus word or phrase can also help

How can you fit it into your routine?
  • Print out and put on the mirror/fridge, in your purse etc. as a reminder to breathe!
  • Leave on your night stand before bed or when you wake up
  • ​Watch this animated visual
  • Apple Watch (vibrations, visuals)

For Caregiver and Child: 

Check out these breathing visuals/videos/songs: 

Grounding Techniques
with Shelby Riley, LICSW

For Children:
I Spy Game:
  • Use it as a learning tool: to build language, to observe things in their environment and connect with each other
    • ​Babies: Use as a way of practicing tracking where you are pointing 
    • Toddlers: Use to learn colors, size of objects or other language descriptions
    • Older Toddlers/ Preschoolers: Play ABC’s in the Room by go through the alphabet and start naming things you see for different letters
  • Use it as a sensory tool: pick up items in nature or around your home environment. Acorns, leaves, pine needles, stones, etc.  Explore the items you find: 
    • ​How does it feel in your hand? How does it feel when you squeeze it?
    • Notice the colors. Notice the textures. 
    • Talk about what you see and feel 

For Caregivers:
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Grounding Technique:
  • Simply “noticing” or observing from an objective perspective
  • Noticing the facts NOT how the things make you feel or any judgment of things around you (feeling cold from the breeze, or frustrations from the blue car coming into your lane) Just simply notice instead!​

For Caregiver and Child: 

Practice a grounding game while driving together: notice all the red stop signs, or fire hydrants, or a specific color car, etc.

Music
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Research shows the benefits of music therapy for various mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, autism, and trauma. Music acts as a medium for processing emotions, trauma, and grief, but music can also be utilized as a regulating or calming agent for anxiety or mood dysregulation.

​Neuroscience research supports the effects music has on our brain’s performance: watch TEDx Alan Harvey: Your Brain on Music and Alex Doman: Your Brain is Better on Music

For Children:
Music can help with all areas of child development (movement, language development, teaching body parts, learning routines, calm tantrums) and make the day together more enjoyable. At home you can:
  • create or play songs that help with doing every day activities or processing everyday difficulties kids might have (brush teeth, going to daycare/ school). Such as: "This is the Way" and “The Waiting Song” (view playlist here)​
  • improve self-regulation skills with start and stop songs such as:
    • Freeze Dance 
    • Open Shut Them
    • Slow and Fast songs​
  • incorporate instruments to make it even more fun: egg shakers, toy xylophone, toy drums, etc. (Instruments don't have to be fancy! They can be simple household items like pots and bowls and utensils or even clapping and patting your own body.) 

For Caregivers:
Use music to pull you out of a funk, pump you up or calm you down.
  • Use headphones or put on speakers when you are feeding the baby, in the car, time of night/ day music time, when making dinner, etc. 
  • It is important to feel the emotions but it is not always helpful to sit in the emotions for a long period of time. Giving yourself grace and empathy that it is ok to have a bad day, feel it and move on.
  • Make an “Emotions” Playlist: Here is mine! It is a little taste of songs that can spark emotions of happiness, sadness, deep thoughts and connections to a time and place in your life. Enjoy! Click to view
  • Also recognize the importance of Silence: Allow for there to be NO sounds to let your brain recharge (overstimulation of Mom’s brain is a real thing!). If needed, try noise cancelling headphones​​

For Caregiver and Child: 

Silliness, dancing and singing builds connection between you and your child and between siblings (while also helping with YOUR mental health! Letting loose and 'being a kid' with your kid(s). Musician Laurie Berkner has tons of songs for kids that adults also enjoy, great for moving, learning and sometimes being just plain silly (view playlist here).

Kindness
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Kindness has been shown to:
  • Increase self-esteem
  • Build empathy and compassion
  • Improve mood
  • ​Reduces stress
It is not just how you treat other people….it is also how you extend kind behaviors and intentions to yourself! Being a friend to yourself!

For Children:
  • Practice random acts of kindness. Kids are always watching and learning from what adults say and do.
  • Read "Fill a Bucket: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Young Children" a book to encourage kindness
  • Simple ideas your children can do to be kind:
    • Make Kindness Rocks
    • Use polite manners (Please, Thank you)
    • Sing a song for someone
    • Give someone a hug or a high five
    • Write nice messages or picture in chalk in road or at the end of the driveway
    • Pick flowers for a neighbor along a walk
    • Making a picture for grandparent, teacher, neighbor etc. 
    • Check on someone who is sad or hurt
    • Sharing a toy at playground or ask another kid to join 
    • ​Click here for more books recommended around the theme of kindness.

For Caregivers:
Random acts of kindness for caregivers: Showing your children kindness is the BEST teacher and YOU reap the benefits of being kind as well. 

​Examples of simple and inexpensive ways you can fill your bucket and brighten others days at the same time:
  • Think of things that other have done for you and that make you feel good and spread that kindness to others
  • Give a compliment or give someone positive feedback
  • Let someone go in traffic
  • Plant or purchase flowers for someone (or yourself)
  • Make donations of blankets to pet shelters, toys  or clothes to shelter etc.
  • Write happy messages on sticky notes for someone
  • Clean up after self or clean up a space to make it look nicer for someone else
  • Pick up trash/ litter in your neighborhood, playground etc.
  • Put grocery cart away
  • Thank the people in service and encourage kids to do same (grocery, waitress, coffee barista)
  • Hold the door for others
  • Pay for the coffee/  food of person behind you in drive-thru
  • Sending a text or call a friend or loved one that you are thinking of
  • ​Think of things that other have done for you and that make you feel good, then spread that kindness to others!

Gratitude
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
Similar to kindness, gratitude lessens stress, anxiety, and depression. When you experience gratitude, you feel grateful for something or someone in your life and respond with feelings of kindness, warmth, and other forms of generosity…which then creates a foundation of happiness.

For Children:
“Favorite Part of the Day” Exercise
  • Go around the dinner table or at bedtime share the rose of your day (the best or most special part of their day). 
  • Include adults and kids to reflect on the day and engage in conversation with one another.
  • Extra twist: Add a thorn (the most difficult part of their day) or bud (things you’re looking forward to or hoping for).
  • Talking about what we are thankful for and reflecting on our day is a great way to appreciate things and people around us. By incorporating both the rose and thorn it identifies both emotions of happy and sad/mad and acknowledges feelings.
  • It's never too early to start talking with baby or toddler about this and showing gratitude and thanks to those around us.
  • Listen to "Thankful" by The Juicebox Jukebox (on YouTube or Spotify)

For Caregivers:
Gratitude reflections, journaling, praying, meditation etc.
  • Make Gratitude a part of your routine! When you first wake up or before you go to bed, think or write down in a journal 1-3 things you're grateful for each day. 
  • Simply take a moment to think about the things in your life that you are grateful for:
    • Stop to observe and acknowledge the beauty and wonder of something you encounter in your daily life
    • Be thankful for your health and/or the health of your loved ones 
    • Show gratitude for someone who supports you and is a positive influence in your life
    • Pay attention to the small things in your life that bring you joy (hot cup of coffee, naptime, a hug, smell of the rain, your babies smile or giggle) 
  • Try a Meditation for Gratitude morning and/or before bed.​

For Caregiver and Child: 

With your child(ren) thank or show appreciation for those who help us (examples: post it notes/card, snack or small gift, smile, hug, compliment) 
  • Child care/daycare provider, nanny, family members, significant others 
  • Sanitation worker, letter carrier, UPS/ FedEx delivery, etc. 
  • Service industry (custodian, waiter, barista, table busser, cashier, grocery store bagger, etc.)
A simple note, a spoken "Thank you," a wave, a smile or a happy honk could make the day of someone who helps you on a daily basis. Who doesn’t like to feel appreciated?! 

Art
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Research shows that expressing oneself through art can alleviate depression, anxiety, cancer, dementia and numerous other mental and physical health problems. Art is an effective way to reduce stress, increase focus and improve self-esteem. Whether it's painting, dancing, writing or music, art in all of its forms can benefit your overall health!

For Children:
Coloring page (responding to what you see without judgment)
  • Fine motor skills are improved when your child is coloring, painting, building and drawing. These activities also train the brain to focus. 
  • Language is another skill that develops when children describe what they have created. Use mindfulness when talking about art (1) free of judgment (2) simply observing and (3) paying attention to the details rather than if it is 'good' or 'bad.'
    • Have a conversation about art using open-ended questions like “Tell me about your picture.”
    • Describe specific things your child is doing by saying things such as, “You’re making short lines. I see you are using red, green and blue.”
  • Focus on the process, not the product. 
    • Encouraging your child in the action of unstructured art helps them to express themselves freely, without worrying about what others think. 
    • If a lot of attention is given to the final product or a lot of energy is spent praising the end result, a child may be more likely to do things to get your approval instead of doing what they want to do. 
    • Focusing on the process involves encouraging effort; exploration and effort are more important than the end product. Notice their hard work!

For Parents:
​Mandalas: Adult Coloring Pages 
“Coloring mandalas allows the brain to enter a peaceful state and to be focused on filling in the geometrical shapes instead of thinking about their worries.” -Carl Jung
  • Coloring mandalas is a form of art therapy meant to relieve stress and increase focus while exercising the brain and expressing creativity. 
  • View mandala coloring supplies on our Amazon Wishlist
  • Remember: when you become immersed in your creation -- whether it's baking, sewing, doodling, or some other form -- your brain gets recharged from the focus. It can actually help to reduce stress and improve your ability to deal with things that are going on around you. Find something that works for you!

Self-Love and Positive Affirmations
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Using positive affirmations rewires the brain to be more positive and self encouraging.

For Children:
Positive Mantras or Positive Affirmations ​​“I am ____”  statements help us focus on the positive or what we aspire to be. “I am calm” when feeling anxious, “I am brave” when feeling scared etc.
  • Positive affirmations have the power to motivate you to act on certain things, help you to concentrate on achieving your goals in life, give you the power to change your negative thinking patterns and replace them with positive thinking patterns. 
  • Helps with growing positive self-esteem in our children as well.

For Caregivers:
​​​Positive Affirmations and Self Love
  • “I am ______” Statements. Here are some positive mantras/ affirmations that we can say to ourselves as caregivers: 
    • I am doing the very best I can! 
    • ​I am the best mother/father to my children. 
    • I am exactly who my children/children need. 
    • I am valued in and out of my home. 
    • I am good at finding solutions to daily struggles. 
    • I am enough, just as I am.
  • Click for an example of a positive affirmation meditation for self love to reprogram your brain to think more positively. Listen while falling asleep, during nap time, in the morning when you wake up etc.
  • Love Yourself Challenge: Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself: “I love you,” “You are doing a great job,” “I’m so proud of you,” “You are strong!” at least one time a day?
  • Treating yourself the way you would treat and talk to your best friend.
    • Something to think about:
      • When a friend is sad and upset, what do you do for them?
      • Think of something that your best friend has done for you that felt good…. Do you ever do this for yourself?
  • Ideas to be mindfully kind and LOVE yourself: 
    • Flowers
    • Get your nails done
    • Treat yourself to a cup of coffee/ lunch
    • Bubble bath
    • Spa day
    • Treat yourself to an item you have been eyeing for yourself
  • Assess how to love yourself: Find out your Love Language 
    • Author, speaker and counselor Gary Chapman, Ph.D. is a well-known marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars. From his book The 5 Love Languages:
      • We all have different needs when it comes to receiving and giving love to others (significant others and our children). 
      • Our Love Languages can be: 1.) Physical Touch  2.) Acts of Service 3.) Words of Affirmation 4.) Quality Time or 5.) Giving Gifts
      • Loving ourselves and feeling love from others is important. Sometimes we don’t know what kind of love we need or how others are showing us love.
    • Take the quiz to learn what your needs are and how to give yourself what YOU need: https://5lovelanguages.com/start/
    • Bonus: It is also helpful to share this information with significant others and other support people so they know how to support and love you and vice versa.

Exercises with Baby at Home:

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