Wellness Resources for New Parents
with Shelby Riley, LICSW

Please feel free to use and share these resources and adapt them to your life and your child's unique developmental age!

For Children:
Head Shoulders Knees and Toes song and/or book
​
Helps with: 
  • Gross motor skills, using different parts of body to do the actions 
  • Balance, coordination and muscle development 
  • Child's listening and language skills as there are parts of the body to remember and learn
Ideas to use Body Scan with Kids:
  • Switch it up! Singing at bath time, diaper changes, use when fussy 
  • Play "Where is baby's eyes, nose, knees etc.?" "Where is Mommy's head, shoulder?" etc.
  • Peek a Boo! 
  • Tickle or blowing raspberries on different body parts. Identifying body parts as a fun activity, distraction and/or to help with transitions
  • Simply being present and paying attention or identifying your baby's body parts while putting on clothes, putting on lotion or soap. Slowing down and noticing their little toes, soft hair, chunky thighs etc. 

For Parents:
Body Scan Meditation is a form of Meditation that allows the brain to refocus and detach from emotions, judgment and stress
Creative ways to incorporate into your day:​
  • Shower
  • Sitting in the car
  • While feeding baby
  • Before bed or when you wake up
  • Doing instead of phone or TV
​Benefits for parents: 
  • Increase awareness of sensations and tension happening in the body
  • Provide insight into deeper emotions without judging or trying to change (simply NOTICING without any judgement is key)
  • Decrease anxiety and stress
  • Self-aware and being more present 
  • Cope with pain
  • Feel more relaxed and helps with sleep
​Mindfulness & Daily Meditation apps that have body scan activities: 

Breathing Techniques
with Shelby Riley, LICSW

For Children:
Bubbles for Kids!
Benefits of Bubbles: 
  • Visual tracking and hand eye coordination
  • Fine and gross motor skills (small muscles in hands, pointing, and fingers and running around chasing)
  • Oral motor skills: Blowing bubbles develops the small muscles in your child's mouth as they pucker their lips and blow bubbles. Strengthening these muscles is important for developing their ability to form clear sounds when speaking and to eat and swallow safely.
  • Tactile Fun: wet, sticky using the sense of touch
  • Calm and reorganize: calming & organizing the child’s body is the result of the use of the proprioceptive sense when blowing bubbles.
  • FUN! Child and Parents smile
  • Use it as a teaching tool for language (big, small) and following directions (pop with your finger, stomp with your food)​
More Visual Breathing Techniques for Kids
  • Lazy 8 and Square Breathing are simple ways to "see" your breathing by using your finger or eyes to follow the shape. Along the shape it shows what part to breathe in and breath out and you can go at whatever speed that is helpful for you. Using a visual can help parent and child to become more focused and deliberate in paying attention to the breath.

For Parents:
Visual Breathing 

How it can help: 
  • Increase concentration and decrease stress and emotions
  • Disengage you from distracting thoughts and sensations
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit, lie down or step away for a second (bathroom, closet, step outside, etc). 
  1. Pay attention to your normal breath. 
  2. Try a DEEP breath in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs. Let your abdomen expand fully. 
  3. Breathe out slowly through your mouth (or your nose, if that feels more natural).
The key is to pay attention and focus on breathing. As you sit comfortably with your eyes closed or find a drishti (focal point). Imagery and/or a focus word or phrase can also help.

How to fit it into your routine:
  • Apple Watch (vibrations, visuals)
  • Bookmark this video from Calm.com
  • Put note on your mirror or fridge as a reminder
  • Practice in your car at stop lights
  • Before you get out of bed (put a reminder on your nightstand before bed)

Grounding Techniques
with Shelby Riley, LICSW

For Children:
I Spy Game
  • Use it as a learning tool: to build language, to observe things in their environment and connect with each other
    • ​Babies: Use as a way of practicing tracking where you are pointing 
    • Toddlers: Use to learn colors, size of objects or other language descriptions
    • Older Toddlers/ Preschoolers: Play ABC’s in the Room by go through the alphabet and start naming things you see for different letters
  • Use it as a sensory tool: pick up items in nature or around your home environment. Acorns, leaves, pine needles, stones, etc. Explore unique items on hand with different textures and colors. Hold the item in your hand or child’s hand and just talk about what you see and feel. Notice the colors. Notice the textures. Ask them: How does it feel in your hand? How does it feel when you squeeze it, etc.? 

For Parents:
Grounding Techniques help create space from distressing feelings in nearly any situation. Helpful for improving:
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • depression
  • mood
  • post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • dissociation
  • Simply “noticing” or observing with NO judgement!
    • Try a grounding "game" while driving or walking: Simply identify objects objectively (facts): red stop sign, Fall leaves orange, red, yellow, blue car on right side etc. 
    • Noticing the facts NOT how the things make you feel or any judgment of things around you (feeling cold from the breeze, or frustrations from the blue car coming into your lane) Just simply notice instead!
    • 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Grounding Techniques (see visual above) using your senses: See, Feel, Hear, Smell and Taste and identifying without judgment.

Using Music as a Tool
with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Research shows the benefits of music therapy for various mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, autism, and trauma. Music acts as a medium for processing emotions, trauma, and grief, but music can also be utilized as a regulating or calming agent for anxiety or mood dysregulation.

​Neuroscience research supports the effects music has on our brain’s performance: watch TEDx Alan Harvey: Your Brain on Music and Alex Doman: Your Brain is Better on Music

For Children:
Music can help with all areas of child development (movement, language development, teaching body parts, learning routines, calm tantrums) and make the day together more enjoyable.
  • Improve self-regulation skills with start and stop songs such as
    • Freeze Dance 
    • Open Shut Them
    • Slow and Fast songs​
  • Creating or playing songs that help with doing every day activities or processing everyday difficulties kids might have (brush teeth, going to daycare/ school). Such as: "This is the Way" and “The Waiting Song” (view playlist here)​
  • Silliness, dancing and singing builds connection between you and your child and between siblings while also helping with YOUR mental health! Letting loose and 'being a kid' with your kid(s). Musician Laurie Berkner has tons of songs for kids that adults also enjoy,  great for moving, learning and sometimes being just plain silly (view playlist here).
  • Incorporating instruments to make it even more fun: egg shakers, toy xylophone, toy drums, etc. (Instruments don't have to be fancy! They can be simple household items like pots and bowls and utensils or even clapping and patting your own body.) 

For Parents:
Use music to pull you out of a funk, pump you up or calm you down.
  • Use headphones or put on speakers when you are feeding the baby, in the car, time of night/ day music time, when making dinner, etc. 
  • It is important to feel the emotions but it is not always helpful to sit in the emotions for a long period of time. Giving yourself grace and empathy that it is ok to have a bad day, feel it and move on.
  • Make an “Emotions” Playlist: Here is mine! It is a little taste of songs that can spark emotions of happiness, sadness, deep thoughts and connections to a time and place in your life. Enjoy! Click to view
  • Also recognize the importance of Silence: Allow for there to be NO sounds to let your brain recharge (overstimulation of Mom’s brain is a real thing!). If needed, try noise cancelling headphones​

Kindness
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It helps reduce stress, brings a fresh perspective and deepens friendships. 

Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, which can directly impact loneliness, improve low mood and enhance relationships in general. It also can be contagious. Looking for ways to show kindness can give you a focus activity, especially if you tend to be anxious or stressed in some social situations.
Being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your body’s natural pain killer, also can be released.
It is not just how you treat other people — it is how you extend those same behaviors and intentions to yourself as well. I believe you can be kinder in your own self-talk. You wouldn't talk to your neighbor or best friend the way you sometimes talk to yourself.

For Children:
  • Practice random acts of kindness. Kids are always watching and learning from what adults say and do.
  • Read "Fill a Bucket: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Young Children" a book to encourage kindness
  • Simple ideas your children can do to be kind:
    • Make Kindness Rocks
    • Use polite manners (Please, Thank you)
    • Sing a song for someone
    • Give someone a hug or a high five
    • Write nice messages or picture in chalk in road or at the end of the driveway
    • Pick flowers for a neighbor along a walk
    • Making a picture for grandparent, teacher, neighbor etc. 
    • Sharing a toy at playground or ask another kid to join 
    • ​Click here for more books recommended around the theme of kindness.

For Parents:
Random acts of kindness for caregivers: Showing your children kindness is the BEST teacher and YOU reap the benefits of being kind as well. 

​Examples of simple and inexpensive ways you can fill your bucket and brighten others days at the same time:
  • Think of things that other have done for you and that make you feel good and spread that kindness to others
  • Give a compliment or give someone positive feedback
  • Let someone go in traffic
  • Plant flowers 
  • Make donations of blankets to pet shelters, toys  or clothes to shelter etc.
  • Happy messages on post its left for someone
  • Clean up after self or clean up a space to make it look nicer for someone else
  • Pick up trash/ litter in your neighborhood, playground etc.
  • Put grocery cart away
  • Thank the people in service and encourage kids to do same (grocery, waitress, coffee barista)
  • Hold the door for others
  • Pay for the coffee/  food of person behind you in drive thru
  • Sending a text or call a friend or loved one that you are thinking of
  • ​Think of things that other have done for you and that make you feel good and spread that kindness to others!

Gratitude
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness
Similar to kindness, gratitude lessens stress, anxiety, and depression. When you experience gratitude, you feel grateful for something or someone in your life and respond with feelings of kindness, warmth, and other forms of generosity…which then creates a foundation of happiness.

For Children:
“Favorite Part of the Day” Exercise
  • Go around the dinner table or at bedtime share the ROSE of your day (the best or most special part of their day). 
  • Include adults and kids to reflect on the day and engage in conversation with one another.
  • Talking about what we are thankful for and reflecting on our day is a great way to appreciate things and people around us. By incorporating both the rose and thorn it identifies both emotions of happy and sad/mad and acknowledges feelings.
  • Extra twist: Add a thorn (the most difficult part of their day) or bud (things you’re looking forward to or hoping for).
  • Get creative and make gratitude part of your daily routine in some way!
  • Never to early to start talking with baby or toddler about this and showing gratitude and thanks to those around us.
  • Listen to "Thankful" by The Juicebox Jukebox (on YouTube or Spotify)

For Parents:
Gratitude reflections, journaling, praying, meditation etc.
  • Make Gratitude a part of your routine! When you first wake up or before you go to bed, think or write down in a journal 1-3 things you're grateful for each day. 
  • Simply take a moment to think about the things in your life that you are grateful for:
    • Stopping to observe and acknowledge the beauty and wonder of something you encounter in your daily life
    • Be thankful for your health and/or the health of your loved ones 
    • Gratitude for someone who supports you and is a positive influence in your life
    • Paying attention to the small things in your life that bring you joy (hot cup of coffee, naptime, a hug, smell of the rain, your babies smile or giggle) 
  • Take it an extra step to thank or show appreciation for those who help us (examples: post it notes/card, snack or small gift, smile, hug, compliment) 
    • Child care/daycare provider, nanny, family members, significant others 
    • Sanitation work, letter carrier, UPS/ FedEx/ Amazon delivery, etc. 
    • Service industry (custodian, waiter/ waitress, baristas, table busser, cashiers, bagger at grocery store etc.)
    • When someone lets you go in traffic 
  • A simple note, a spoken "Thank You!," a wave, a smile or a happy honk could make the day of someone who helps you on a daily basis. Who doesn’t like to feel appreciated?!
  • Click for a Meditation for Gratitude morning and/or before bed.​

Art
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Research shows that expressing oneself through art can alleviate depression, anxiety, cancer, dementia and numerous other mental and physical health problems. Art is an effective way to reduce stress, increase focus and improve self-esteem. Whether it's painting, dancing, writing or music, art in all of its forms can benefit your overall health!

For Children:
Coloring page (responding to what you see without judgment)
  • Fine motor skills are improved when your child is coloring, painting, building and drawing. These activities also train the brain to focus. 
  • Language is another skill that develops when children describe what they have created. Use mindfulness when talking about art (1) free of judgment (2) simply observing and (3) paying attention to the details rather than if it is 'good' or 'bad.'
    • Have a conversation about art using open-ended questions like “Tell me about your picture.”
    • Describe specific things your child is doing by saying things such as, “You’re making short lines. I see you are using red, green and blue.”
  • Focus on the process, not the product. 
    • Encouraging your child in the action of unstructured art helps them to express themselves freely, without worrying about what others think. 
    • If a lot of attention is given to the final product or a lot of energy is spent praising the end result, a child may be more likely to do things to get your approval instead of doing what they want to do. 
    • Focusing on the process involves encouraging effort; exploration and effort are more important than the end product. Notice their hard work!

For Parents:
​Mandalas: Adult Coloring Pages 
“Coloring mandalas allows the brain to enter a peaceful state and to be focused on filling in the geometrical shapes instead of thinking about their worries.” -Carl Jung
  • Coloring mandalas is a form of art therapy meant to relieve stress and increase focus while exercising the brain and expressing creativity. 
  • View mandala coloring supplies on our Amazon Wishlist
  • Remember: when you become immersed in your creation -- whether it's baking, sewing, doodling, or some other form -- your brain gets recharged from the focus. It can actually help to reduce stress and improve your ability to deal with things that are going on around you. Find something that works for you!

Self-Love and Positive Affirmations
​with Shelby Riley, LICSW
Using positive affirmations rewires the brain to be more positive and self encouraging.

For Children:
Positive Mantras or Positive Affirmations ​​“I am ____”  statements help us focus on the positive or what we aspire to be. “I am calm” when feeling anxious, “I am brave” when feeling scared etc.
  • Positive affirmations have the power to motivate you to act on certain things, help you to concentrate on achieving your goals in life, give you the power to change your negative thinking patterns and replace them with positive thinking patterns. 
  • Helps with growing positive self-esteem in our children as well.

For Caregivers:
​​​Positive Affirmations and Self Love
  • “I am ______” Statements. Here are some positive mantras/ affirmations that we can say to ourselves as caregivers: 
    • I am doing the very best I can! 
    • ​I am the best mother/father to my children. 
    • I am exactly who my children/children need. 
    • I am valued in and out of my home. 
    • I am good at finding solutions to daily struggles. 
    • I am enough, just as I am.
  • Click for an example of a positive affirmation meditation for self love to reprogram your brain to think more positively. Listen while falling asleep, during nap time, in the morning when you wake up etc.
  • Love Yourself Challenge: Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself: “I love you,” “You are doing a great job,” “I’m so proud of you,” “You are strong!” at least one time a day?
  • Treating yourself the way you would treat and talk to your best friend.
    • Something to think about:
      • When a friend is sad and upset, what do you do for them?
      • Think of something that your best friend has done for you that felt good…. Do you ever do this for yourself?
  • Ideas to be mindfully kind and LOVE yourself: 
    • Flowers
    • Get your nails done
    • Treat yourself to a cup of coffee/ lunch
    • Bubble bath
    • Spa day
    • Treat yourself to an item you have been eyeing for yourself
  • Assess how to love yourself: Find out your Love Language 
    • Author, speaker and counselor Gary Chapman, Ph.D. is a well-known marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars. From his book The 5 Love Languages:
      • We all have different needs when it comes to receiving and giving love to others (significant others and our children). 
      • Our Love Languages can be: 1.) Physical Touch  2.) Acts of Service 3.) Words of Affirmation 4.) Quality Time or 5.) Giving Gifts
      • Loving ourselves and feeling love from others is important. Sometimes we don’t know what kind of love we need or how others are showing us love.
    • Take the quiz to learn what your needs are and how to give yourself what YOU need: https://5lovelanguages.com/start/
    • Bonus: It is also helpful to share this information with significant others and other support people so they know how to support and love you and vice versa.

Exercises with Baby at Home:

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